(TT) 어떻게?

7 months left for me to prepare for STPM exam. I know that I am a lazy person. I am not a stupid one, but I don't have the will power to work hard for it.

Our school band is going to take part in State Marching Competition, and our drum major asked me to participate since my member (I am the section leader) are unreliable. They are not as experienced as me. I am off-responsible for band as I am sixth form student now. Actually, my section isn't bad as what I think before, but they are nobody compare to last time, my time. It's the time for them to learn independent and not to rely on seniors any more. Now, some of my members are willing to quit as they are also exam-class students, and most of them want to leave because their parents didn't allow them to take part thinking that it will affects their academics.

What should I do? I would have help them if I am few years younger. (TT)

I don't want to participate in it any more because it's a SURE that we won't win that competition except that school give up or there are "miracleS". PS: I used about two years to turn fair again, what for to get tanned again? My lipping just get back to concert "mode" then why I have to spoil it again? =.=

But if I say no, then I will feel sorry to them since I have been stayed in the band,a big family for 7 years... I know I can help, I am willing to help, but, there are more things to consider about, like exams, time, efforts, etc.

What to do?

BEAT IT - U-know Yunho

Michael Jackson THIS IS IT Tribute Concert - Korea 

U-know Yunho

100328 BEAT IT from keikasuigetsu on Vimeo.

hehehehe~~ charming one... when he is taking breath rapidly while talking... =.= ((Just ignore me...

But he sipek hiao... Hiao tiok I beh tong... Kekeke~

最近还好… 只是，有点儿@@烦烦烦

功课是我的死穴…还是说，小说和图片+视频是我的死穴…
赫~
我的功课，又没做了… 该被pia了…

我仍然无法整理心情…
依然是新年和假期的心情啊！T_T
没救了么？

话说，还真是有点儿烦…
要参加比赛么？
让我困扰许久的问题…
放着他们不管，是否不仁不义？
我不义，因为他们不仁…
是该独立的时候了…唉~
我，也没有资格剥夺人家出场的权利（如果我参加的话…
我进，就会有人出… 因为能理解这种滋味，所以也不想伤害人家…
我该做怎么样的决定呢？

参加，结果也不会有多好…
好处，好像没有，反而坏处一大堆~
我也好不容易才变白了…我不想变黑了…
不参加，结果也不好…
好处，我可以不必费心，不必伤心，不必生气，
太阳晒会变黑，生气会长痘痘~

或许该下定决心，不参加就不参加…
犹豫绝对不会是好事…

天啊~ 怎么办？

再来，就是烦功课…
不是没时间做，而是没那个毅力花时间做…
简单说一句，烦自己没毅力…

还有一个就是……
我是否要去PWO呢？
特不好意思地说…比较人家叫到了…
可，自己又不是很方便（住太远了…
唉~ @@

生病了么？

喉咙又不舒服了…吃错东西么？
脑袋也有点儿晕晕的…

朦~~~

T__T

仙后，过来喂~ 视频丫喂~

天使的翅膀
(在，天国的邮递员）

豆花！这，简直就是经典啊！间接的太太太好了！！！虐史伦了啦！！

赤道和北极

3:30 我看到马来西亚！ Bukit Bintang啊~ 去年我可站在那儿很久啊啊啊！天啊啊~（我疯了54我~

[赤道和北极2]因为想你才寂寞

幻想之都 - 俊秀  （很囧~ 但是很帅~ XD！）


不是因为寂寞才想你 （允在）

困局 （豆花、米花……）

困局2 （豆花、米花、米珉……）

***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***

神风畴出品

来源：土豆

制作：一毛

视频播客：http://www.tudou.com/home/item_u1305723s1p1.html

***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***

My Immortal - Evanescence

I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my childish fears

And if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave

Because your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I've held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me

by your resonating light

But now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Your face it haunts 

my once pleasant dreams

Your voice it chased away 

all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I've held your hand through all of these years

But you still have 

all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

But though you're still with me

I've been alone all along

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I've held your hand through all of these years

But you still have 

all of me

Let's have some fun... ^^

"Let's have some fun..." -SKY-Tohoshinki...

Today I went to Penang with my friends, Winnie and Jestine...

Lunch at KimGary

Karaoke at RedBox
((We just been able to sing Korean and Japanese song... And many TVXQ's songs... Muahhahah~

Shopping in Gurney Plaza, of course...

I spent quite X amount of money... =.=

A note book...

A GREEN nail colour, an Orange flavour lip gloss, and an IMMORTELLE ice scrub...

We had our dinner in DAORAE at Tanjung Tokong...

^^ Nice korean food... Bloated dinner~ XD! Haha~ 

 

I tooked this with my hp. ^^ Nice place, nice food...

These are from my friends....

   

And I saw this~!!!! ^^ The only Korean Artist's Poster I saw... Hohoho~ 

((Though it's an old poster... T_T

该放手了…

发现自己一直活在过去式，不肯放手…
总是自我安慰地说，没变，一切都还是那样的…
一样……
没变…
可是，自己却无能为力地…
必须承认，事过境迁，回不到从前，
即便是短短的几年，甚至是几个月…

总荒废一大堆脑力来记得别人家的生日，
即使关系没多好…
可是，
是否有人也像我这样，花费心思地记上我的呢？
我不要再记了……累了…
生日，总是苦涩的…
别人的一大班儿，我则只是相熟的几位…
不记得的、刻意的，随便你们，
我不想再在意了………因为没人在意我是否在意…

一直在乎的友谊…
一一地，一一地离我而去…
即使遇见了，
顶多也是那一抹微笑，结束了…
即使，即使我们再了解对方，
逝世的友谊，依然，不在了…
随你们去吧…我不想再理了…

总以为，努力是会有成果的…
现在的我，不以为然…
再努力，不就是不，一切都是徒然…
奢华的，我不要了…我，认输了…

过去，抹不掉…忘不了…
回忆，总让人痛苦惆怅…
一首歌，一个味道，一句话，一个动作，
很多很多让自己忆起过去的日子……伤心快乐也好，
盘旋在脑海里…
现在的我，一点也不想要，要得是——失忆，或许逝忆…

记得越多，苦的只有自己…
我不要记了…累了…
这次真的，累了…

回忆，是我们唯一的牵系…
既然你已不以为意，那我何必僵持下去？
相识，让你想把我忘记，那我也没有必要将你记起…
相遇，得来是你无情的离去，那我宁可先把你忘记…
相知，将会是你我无言的结局，那么我们不如不遇…
我，还是放手让你离去…

朋友，不如不遇，不如不记，不如不忆…

其实，我……也在逃避…
============================================

深夜里，突然变得情绪化…
只是胡言乱语…

Holiday? Nah!

It's holiday, though, but it doesn't look like a holiday...


Today I went to hospital to do blood donation.
I would like to know that one who receive my 1st pack of blood... Hah!
^^


Last week, my exam...
Gonno fail all subjects...
T_T
I have only 2 times of exams to go...


I have many things to do in this holiday...
I have to finish my homework, as possible, all...
I will go to DAORAE with my friends, Cassiopeia+schoolmates, and karaoke then...
And I have a few of tuition this week... =.= though i hate to go since it's holiday.
Oh yeah, I still have 2 assignments for PA and Economy to finish up by end of the week...
Maybe I'll meet some friends in this holidays... But I don't really want to meet them...


Oh well, that's all I think... ^^

日子过得有点失败…

假期了，但却没多兴奋…

考试，考砸了…

考试是过了，假期是来了…
可是，似乎还有许多事情还没有完成…
或许应该趁这短短的假期把它们弄好吧…

体验了一个月，都是满满补习的一个月…
我不想补了~ 补习似乎没给我多少帮助…
但不如靠自己…甭浪费钱…我不补了！！！
补那么多，唯一有进展的只是英文而已…
可是，这次考试，我的MUET writing竟也写不完…
数学，赫！拿20分，我就是天才~
其他的更不用说~ 会pass很难~
唉~我是否该放弃了呢？
这次算是容易的了，我都靠不好~
我剩下两次而已…
我，怎么办？

唉~
我懒惰，我承认…
我没努力，我承认…
我废材，我承认…
我就是没心去读书啊…
一点动力都没有…啊啊啊！！！

老天，给我点头绪吧！
至少，让我看到一丁点希望的路…
那么多的不确定，一片黑漆漆的，叫我怎么走下去？

T________________T

Doubted...

Please don't doubt me before you can understand me well...

You never try to understand me...
Never!! Never...
You don't even care about my feelings...

You always think things simple...
But it isn't simple out there...
I could say nothing since I know you are not familiar with that.
But please mind about everything you say...
Sometimes it's hurts...

They have their parents to help them, support them...
I don't...
What I get is always a pail of cold water...splash on me...
Please... Please...

I am giving up my music to for my study...
Please give me some private space to do my own things...
I know my ability, my capability...
I know what I can, what I can't...

Leave me alone! Don't affect my mood!!!

於是，我忍不住…

我，依然…

忍不住………………上網了…

明天考試～　（（嚴格來説就是今天早上…

話説，這幾天都沒什麽考試的氣氛…

我也是吊兒郎當的…

該看的都看完了～　

只是嚴重“一點”的是…我還沒背…

剛剛讀完了～　

心里終于湧上來那種緊張的感覺…

心里有點酸酸的感覺…那個胃也有點像在坐過山車…

眼眶好像有點東西要沖出來一樣…

天啊～　我多希望這感覺早一點來咧…

今天我不打算睡覺了…

上網的原因是～

我也不是很清楚…

或許是爲了解放那緊張的感覺…　＝＝

現在離考試還有9個小時…

真的好像哭啊～雖然我都沒有哭泣的習慣

有點後悔了，怎麽辦～

在一下下，我就要去背書了…唉～

希望明天的自己是幸運的…

我希望明天我是笑著走出考場滴～

12句讓人心疼的話

1)

有些事，我們明知道是錯的，也要去堅持，因為不甘心；
有些人，我們明知道是愛的，也要去放棄，因為沒結局；
有時候，我們明知道沒路了，卻還在前行，因為習慣了。

2)

以為蒙上了眼睛，就可以看不見這個世界；
以為摀住了耳朵，就可以聽不到所有的煩惱；
以為腳步停了下來，心就可以不再遠行；
以為需要的愛情，只是一個擁抱~可是你心中的真愛是在這裡嗎？

3)

那些已經犯過的錯誤，有一些是因為來不及，有一些是因為刻意躲避， 更多的時候是茫然地站到了一邊。我們就這樣錯了一次又一次，卻從不曉得從中汲取教訓，做一些反省或是努力補救。

4)

你不知道我在想你，是因為你不愛我，我明明知道你不想我，卻還愛你，是因為我太傻。也許有時候，逃避不是因為害怕去面對什麼，而是在等待什麼。、

5)

天空沒有翅膀的痕跡，但鳥兒已經飛過；
心裡沒有被刀子割過，但疼痛卻那麼清晰。
這些胸口裡最柔軟的地方，被愛人傷害過的傷口，遠比那些肢體所受的傷害來得犀利，而且只有時間，才能夠治癒。

6)

很多人，因為寂寞而錯愛了一人，但更多的人，因為錯愛一人，而寂寞一生。我們可以彼此相愛，卻注定了無法相守。不是我不夠愛你，只是我不敢肯定，這愛~是不是最正確的。

7)

如果背叛是一種勇氣，那麼接受背叛則需要一種更大的勇氣。
前者只需要有足夠的勇敢就可以，又或許只是一時衝動，
而後者考驗的卻是寬容的程度，絕非衝動那麼簡單，需要的唯有時間。
8)

生命無法用來證明愛情，就像我們無法證明自己可以不再相信愛情。
在這個城市裡，誠如勞力士是物質的奢侈品，愛情則是精神上的奢侈品。可是生命脆弱無比，根本沒辦法承受那麼多的奢侈。

9)

人最大的困難是認識自己，最容易的也是認識自己。
很多時候，我們認不清自己，只因為我們把自己放在了一個錯誤的位置，給了自己一個錯覺。所以，不怕前路坎坷，只怕從一開始就走錯了方向。

10)

生活在一個城市裡，或者愛一個人，又或者做某件事，時間久了，就會覺得厭倦，就會有一種想要逃離的衝動。也許不是厭倦了這個城市、愛的人、堅持的事，只是給不了自己堅持下去的勇氣。

11)

多少次又多少次，回憶把生活劃成一個圈，而我們在原地轉了無數次，無法解脫。總是希望回到最初相識的地點，如果能夠再一次選擇的話，以為可以愛得更單純。

12)

如果你明明知道這個故事的結局，你或者選擇說出來，或者裝作不知道，萬不要欲言又止。有時候留給別人的傷害，選擇沉默比選擇坦白要痛多了

============================================================

其實，我覺得還好而已………………

*Sigh*

Suddenly, 
I feel nervous for my exam tomorrow...


Yet, 
I haven't prepare it well... T_____T


And, 
I know there's no one to save me... 


So,
I am going to stay up until morning... 


Hence, 
Please Bless me la.. My GOD!

有點無葯可救了…

今天，依然沒讀什麽…
換句話~ 什麽都沒讀…


唉~ 瓦依然無法好好沉澱，乖乖地坐著讀書耶~


是時候把電腦拿去封了吧？
赫~


兩點了…
這天過了兩個小時，
我啥都沒做…


接下去的時間…
沒空的時間從上課開始到晚上8時…


這天，由要趕場了…
7:20am-1:15pm 上課
2:00pm-5:00pm 補習
6:00pm-8:00pm 補習…
所以，我省下的時間大約只有6個小時…


真不知道該不該放棄…
唉~~~

鬱鬱寡歡

有點鬱悶…亂糟糟的…


沒心情讀書…
沒心情看書…


很想整天就這樣放空…那，多好啊…


哎…


許多東西沒處理的…
也沒有要動手去弄得意思…
累，不想，不要…


讀書好像變成苦差了耶…
如果學生不讀書，那還能做啥？
我，能做啥？


一個人的晚上，
一個人的房間裏，
冷冷的空氣彌漫著孤單和寂寞…
該陪伴自己的書卻起不了任何作用…
原來，去學校上課比躲在家裏來的有意義…


腦袋放空太久了…
怎麽也轉換不回來…
今夜，還讀書麽？
不知道…但，熬夜是肯定的…